Our Mediation Style: Collaborative, Facilitative, and Interest-Based

By Charles Robertson, Co-founding Partner, Mares Mediation Group LLC

When people ask how we mediate at Mares Mediation Group, I often say this: We don’t “take sides,” and we don’t “decide who’s right.” Instead, we guide a structured conversation that helps people understand each other, solve problems together, and reach practical agreements they can live with.

Our approach is collaborative, facilitative, and interest-based. That may sound technical, but in plain English it means we focus on respect, informed choice, and the real needs underneath the conflict—not just the surface demands.

What “Our Mediation Style” Means

When we say we use a collaborative, facilitative, interest-based style (often shortened to “CFI”), we mean three things.

Collaborative: We help the parties work as problem-solving partners, even if they strongly disagree. That includes ground rules for respect, careful listening, and focusing on solutions instead of blame.
Facilitative: We manage the process; you keep the power over the outcome. We ask questions, clarify, and reality-check, but you decide what proposals make sense.
Interest-based: We look beneath positions (“I want X dollars” or “I refuse to move”) to the reasons and needs underneath, such as security, respect, or predictability.

Research and practice in modern mediation show that interest-based, facilitative approaches often produce more durable, satisfying agreements than purely positional bargaining or win-lose tactics.

What You Can Expect in the Room

Most mediations move through a simple structure: opening, sharing perspectives, exploring interests, brainstorming options, and working toward agreement.

Here is what that looks like in practice:

We start by explaining the process, confirming confidentiality, and agreeing on basic guidelines like no interruptions and respectful language.
Each person has uninterrupted time to share their view of what brought them to mediation and what they hope to achieve.
I summarize what I’ve heard from each side and check that I have it right. This alone often lowers tension because people feel heard accurately.
We identify the key issues and the interests behind them—why those issues matter to you, not just what you want.
We then brainstorm a range of options and evaluate them against your interests, legal realities, and practical constraints.

Throughout the session, my job is to manage the conversation so it stays productive, balanced, and grounded in reality—not to impose a solution.

How My Background Shapes My Style

My mediation style is deeply influenced by four decades in leadership roles—running companies, turning around struggling businesses, and serving as CFO for large Colorado real estate projects.

In those roles, I spent much of my time doing what mediators do every day:

Listening for what was really driving a dispute between partners, contractors, or employees, not just what they were arguing about on the surface.
Translating technical or financial details into language everyone around the table could understand.
Helping people with very different perspectives and risk tolerances make shared decisions about high-stakes projects.

The skills I used to build teams, solve problems, and restore trust—focused listening, careful questioning, and a calm, structured process—are the same skills I now use in mediation. I see mediation as guided team problem-solving, with the added benefit that I am neutral and have no stake in the outcome other than helping you reach a workable resolution.

Core Principles That Guide Us

Several core principles shape every mediation we conduct at Mares Mediation Group.

Respect for all parties. You can expect to be treated with respect, regardless of your role, title, or past mistakes. We also ask you to extend that same basic respect to the other party in the room.
Self-determination. You choose whether to settle and on what terms. We support you in making informed, thoughtful decisions rather than pushing you into a quick deal.
Balanced participation. We pay attention to power imbalances and communication styles. If one person tends to dominate, we adjust the process with ground rules, direct questions, or private meetings (caucuses) so everyone has a meaningful voice.
Future-focus. We acknowledge the past, but we will gently steer the conversation toward what you need going forward—clear agreements, better communication, or a clean break.

These principles are consistent with widely recognized mediator standards and with the collaborative, facilitative, interest-based training used across Colorado and beyond.

Techniques We Use (In Plain English)

Our mediation style is not about flashy tricks. It’s about using simple, disciplined tools at the right time to keep conversations moving.

Some of the main techniques include:

Active and reflective listening. We repeat back what we hear, in neutral language, to be sure we understand and to show the other side what you’re really saying.
Framing and reframing. If something is said in a way that inflames the room, we restate it in more constructive terms while preserving the underlying concern.
Open-ended questions. We ask questions like “Can you tell me more about what worries you there?” to uncover interests and assumptions.
Reality-testing. We may ask how a proposal would work in real life, what might happen in court, or what risks each option creates, so that agreements are practical, not just optimistic.
Option-building. We encourage you to generate many possible solutions before judging them, then help you evaluate which combinations best meet your needs.

These tools are standard in professional mediation training, including the Phoenix Strategies “Collaborative Conflict Management” model, and they help turn heated conversations into productive problem-solving.

When We Use Caucuses (Private Meetings)

Most of the time, we keep everyone in the same room. However, there are moments when a brief private meeting with each party (called a caucus) is the most constructive step.

We may suggest a caucus when:

Emotions are running high and a short break could prevent the conversation from derailing.
Someone needs space to think through options, ask questions, or express concerns they’re not ready to share in the joint session.
There appears to be a significant power imbalance, and we need to check that everyone truly understands their choices and feels able to participate.

Even in caucus, we stay neutral. We will not coach one side to “out-negotiate” the other. Instead, we use the time to support clearer thinking, better communication, and realistic expectations for everyone.

What Our Style Is Not

Just as important as what we do is what we do not do.

We do not act as judges or arbitrators. We do not decide who is right or wrong, and we do not impose solutions.
We do not give legal advice. We encourage you to consult your own attorney as needed, especially before signing any final agreement.
We do not guarantee a “perfect” outcome. Our role is to give you a fair process and a supportive structure; the decisions remain in your hands.

If you come to mediation expecting a referee who will declare a winner, our style may feel different at first. Over time, many people come to value having real control over the outcome instead.

A Short Example

Imagine two business partners in Denver who disagree about how to split profits from a project. One insists, “I want 60 percent, no less.” The other responds, “That’s outrageous. We agreed to 50–50.”

In a positional fight, they might just repeat those numbers louder. In our style of mediation, we would ask questions like:

“Help me understand what 60 percent represents to you—what would that allow or protect?”
“What concerns you most about going below 50 percent?”

Often, we discover that one partner is worried about personal financial risk and retirement, while the other is focused on feeling respected for day-to-day workload. Once those interests are clear, the partners can explore creative combinations—such as a different profit split on future projects, a one-time adjustment tied to workload, or other arrangements—that better meet both sets of interests than a simple 60/40 or 50/50 standoff.

Choosing a Style That Fits You

Every mediator has a style. Some are more evaluative and directive, offering strong opinions about likely court outcomes. Others, like us, lean toward a collaborative, facilitative, interest-based approach that emphasizes informed choice and long-term relationships.

If you value:

Being heard and understood.
Having a neutral guide rather than a decision-maker.
Exploring creative, practical options instead of just “winning” or “losing.”

…then our mediation style is likely a good fit. When we work together, my goal is to create a space where you can speak openly, think clearly, and build agreements that make sense—in Colorado courts, in your business, and in your day-to-day life afterward.